I learned how to say no.
The hard way.
Well, maybe not that dramatic, but I used to have my planner filled up to the max, and I was always overwhelmed. I had to always leave home with it. It was always in my bag. if I had a digital invite to something, I always wrote it down in my trusty planner.
I lived according to my calendar, and if I had an open spot, I’d throw something in there to fill it up. I wondered why I couldn’t be creative, why I couldn’t set time aside to sew, design or write. I did cook. It was mostly for survival, and not as a creative outlet.
I really needed to create more blank space in my head, the first target was my calendar.
So I started leaving my planner at home.
I only book in schedules that excite me, fulfill me, and only with people I want to truely meet with. People who I adore spending time with.
I’d like to report, that it worked! When I started doing this, and really sticking to the deal, I felt more space in my head, and more room in my heart to write.
I have days where I write for a few hours straight. Sometimes, I’m frantically writing a weird dream I had.. Just to see if I can use words to recreate the images I saw inside my own head. (Mostly comes out as a fail lol) Other days, there’s one or two topics I want to get out of my head, and I do.
Sometimes, it doesn’t really make sense. Sometimes, it makes too much sense, I shock myself. Every time I write, I leave it at least a day. Some times weeks before I go back and read/edit it. (Most of the stuff I share is written way before the day I hit publish/printed copies.)
Most of the time, I don’t feel it’s good enough to share.. and I started to share anyway. When I share it, I feel a bit more confident. And freedom. Like my heart cracks open a little more each time, becoming more vulnerable.. and at the same time, it expands, growing bigger and bigger.
And if I can help even one person (well, besides myself), it’s worth sharing.